Paradigm Meltdown

Oh where do I begin? Following the lessons posited by our old and wise Gay Canuck during his blogging days, I'm going to do another bullet point list, in chronological order:

• My credit card got scammed: It happened while I was in Colorado. Upon returning I logged onto my credit card's web site to check the cost of a few entries I had to include in my expense report for the trip and noticed a charge from "TANGY SWEET - 2". At first I racked my brains trying to figure out what it was from, then remembered a similar entry from my Red Velvet cupcake purchases a few months ago. A quick call to the credit card company confirmed it's listed as a "restaurant" in gallery place, so that had to be it, and even more interesting they tell me the number was keyed in and not swiped. What didn't make sense was that the charge was posted on a Wednesday, processed on a Thursday, WHILE I WAS IN COLORADO. I asked the Mexican, who was in California, if he had happened to phone in an order while I was gone and he said no.
  
  I call the credit card company back, they transfer me to their ominous security department and that's when the car just drove off the cliff. The escalation to the security department involved being transferred from a nice, cordial english-speaking representative to an off-shore call center. This guy must have skipped his morning chai, had a bug up his ass, or just hated his job, because as soon as I explain the situation his immediate response was "We have to close the account". Em, ok. I nod along as I listen to him explain what I have to do, authorize it, hang up, then let it settle in that I just had to close my credit card account, and live without a credit card, because of a fraudulent $14 cupcake charge. Holding back the tears from shock, I decided it was for the better and carried on with my life.
  
  Let me tell you, paying for things directly out your bank account is WEIRD. I haven't used my PNC Visa Check card in ages. Granted, I didn't lower down to the level of using cold, hard cash, but to see my hard-earned dollars fly out of my bank account the moment they were spent WITHOUT giving me any points, miles, or feel-good emotions felt wrong. Alas, a week later new, shiny, gold cards arrived in the mail and life returned to normal.
• The weather: When did it get so freaking cold!!!! Colorado was cold, but sunny and dry. I left DC it was in the 70's. I come back and the temps snow-dive into the 30s. If I were that weather girl from Mean Girls I'd say "They can cut glass!!! Better wrap yourselves up when going out!"
• I lost a week of my life to a cold: It started last Saturday with a stomach ache and general aches. Sunday I lost my appetite altogether. Then Monday came and all hell broke lose. My nose decided to stop working. My sinuses expanded to feel like a grapefruit inside my head, my joints and muscles screamed with every step I took. Medicating myself with Sudafed, tea, and rest, I was hoping it would be a 24 hr bug. As usual I wasn't so lucky. This dragged onto Tuesday, when the fever/aches diminished by the snot just kept on coming. I learned a long time ago that to avoid a chafed nose during a bad cold, I have to keep rubbing some kind of ointment over my nostrils to prevent friction with the tissue paper. Neosporin works well enough, but it's certainly not enjoyable and you can't be seen out in public if your nostrils have a shiny, oily gleam around them. Since things din't get better after the first day I knew I could not risk going to the gym. Thus I sat on my ass from Saturday to Thursday. It's now Friday and I'm back to 95%. Let me tell you that now I understand why a majority of Americans are depressed. Sitting on my ass for almost a week, working like mad, not getting any physical activity, resulting in poor sleep at night, general discomfort, sore butt, fidgeting, loss of appetite, and a general feeling of grouchiness. That's right, I became and even bigger bitch because I wasn't working out. Gasp. Let's hope I don't get sick again any time soon.
  
• And then hell froze over: My brother finally made it to LA the week before Thanksgiving. The dynamics behind his departure are dramatic enough to warrant their own post, so I will only provide the necessary details here. He's been in school less than a month, and he's already planning a holiday. Where to? Why Washington, DC of course! You see, he "doesn't want to spend Christmas alone in front of a computer" (those were his words edited from chicano spanglish). But what about his wonderful girlfriend and her family who invited him for Thanksgiving? Well, they're worse than pagan, they're Jewish, "they don't do Christmas" he tells me, thinking I haven't met a Jew in my life. When I ask about Hanukkah and Festivus, the bitch in my flying at full speed, he just ignores me.
  
  He wants to come here and spend Christmas with my Mom and me. Before you start awww-ing and saying "how sweet", let me remind you he's on a tight budget and supposed to be studying his ass off at this new school, not taking a week off to come to DC. Despite his grand idea, he claimed he didn't have the money. He asked my mom, who has no money, and got nothing. He asked my dad, who's pissed at him for a sundry reasons, and he said no. It's not that may parents are evil. It's that he is going about this all the wrong ways. First, he wants to be macho and gift his girlfriend of all of 3 weeks a ticket to come with him. Come alone?! But who would he diddle in cold DC? He's gotta have a female specimen to tag along. Then he makes the mistake of telling us that I don't have to worry about lodging because he's crashing a friend's. This is the "friend" that happened to get a 40-some year old woman prego and came crying to my mom asking for money for an abortion. Then it turned out the lady WANTED to get pregnant, did it on purpose, lives with her parents in the DC area, and the guy is getting a spouse's visa to enter the US. Abortion or green card, mmm, such a tough choice. Then he tells us he wants to get here December 22nd and leave the 26th. My mom isn't getting here until the morning of the 24th. Thus he's maximizing time with his friend, and limiting his time with my mother. All this amounted to a big "hell no" from my parents. I was able to relax and accept he wasn't coming for all of a few days before I checked my email this morning and noticed the Expedia.com screen capture in which he sent me his and his girlfriend's itinerary.
  
  That's right, my brother is coming to DC for Christmas. God help me and give me strength not to kill him. Where he got the money for this? I have no clue. My dad's unemployed, broke, and climbing walls he's so desperate for a job. My mom depends on him for money, so we'll see how that goes. Me? I've got a fresh mortgage and pretty freaking expensive furniture to buy with my hard-earned money to make my home a comfortable place. I think the Mexican was right. It won't be long before we find out my brother's doing porn in LA in order to make end's me. Cocky bastard might just do it because he's so into himself.
  

Is 2010 here yet?